Several small but good things happened today which made me very happy. It could be argued that they are the reward of my effort, but I really think that they were God being good. Finding vegetarian chicken noodle soup was definitely not the reward of my effort, unless you count going to the soup isle in Ralph's as effort.
I also went to the gym today for the first time. I forgot to stretch beforehand, which was interesting, to say the least. Lifting 20 lbs with both of my triceps after lift fifteen became a serious effort. I was actually out of breath and a little put off at myself, and was also wondering what I was going to do for the remainder of my time there since I had a walk ahead of me right afterwards. I then discovered that the machine lets you lift weights with your foot. Testing it 10 lbs at a time, I discovered that I could lift up to 90 lbs with my right foot without any discomfort. Considering this is more than I weigh, maybe I'm not a lost cause after all. I exercised using the peddle and my arms after that.
What was interesting was that I got all testosteroney afterwards and was thinking about fight scenes and such. It's amusing, but I'm not sure if I like it. I'm still going to try and work out, of course. It seems better than rolling out of bed to the heater, grumbling under my breath for twenty minutes before I actually get anything done.
Now I will have minestrone soup. Mmm.....
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
It's so much easier to write about certain things than it is to talk about them. In a weird way, as much as the tonality of voice helps expression, it hinders some thoughts. Sometimes when I say things that are meant to be written I can hear them wither in the air, bereft of the poetry they would express on paper. As much as I love hanging out with people and talking to them, I also love writing to them,because for some reason deep thoughts that wither in the air can be shared on pieces of paper or computer screens.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Trivialties about Marisa's Day
This freaks me out, in part because I don't know what some of the beauty treatments are. Heck, today I didn't brush my hair to go to school, or shower. I don't smell! I think.
This reminds me, I need to brush my hair and shower.
I have spent most of today doing math and physics, and will probably spend the rest of the day doing math and physics. However, I see the Tale of Genjii in the corner of my eye, and will probably indulge myself a bit. I probably shouldn't have just spent two hours on the internet, or more specifically, on Jezebel, but had a horrible headache when I got home and was either in class or working since I got up today. My sore throat is practically gone, but the side affects of the Tylenol weren't for a long time today.
Actually, I'm feeling pretty good right now, and have been fairly productive. I wish the library had rentable space heaters, heehee. I should have worn boots today.
This reminds me, I need to brush my hair and shower.
I have spent most of today doing math and physics, and will probably spend the rest of the day doing math and physics. However, I see the Tale of Genjii in the corner of my eye, and will probably indulge myself a bit. I probably shouldn't have just spent two hours on the internet, or more specifically, on Jezebel, but had a horrible headache when I got home and was either in class or working since I got up today. My sore throat is practically gone, but the side affects of the Tylenol weren't for a long time today.
Actually, I'm feeling pretty good right now, and have been fairly productive. I wish the library had rentable space heaters, heehee. I should have worn boots today.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Back in San Diego after Spring Break
Today I was grumpy from sleepiness and my mom and I "fought" a lot. My sore throat from yesterday was worse.
I did get two new chairs for my patio! And I had a wonderful spring break, overall.
This almost looks as though I'm writing in that annoying form that makes a paragraph from every sentence. Anyways, I scheduled and looked things up and scheduled some more for about an hour and a half after reading the Simarillion.
It's interesting that Tolkein specifically states that he does not like Arthurian legend because of its intermingling with Christian myth. He also writes in so many words that he dislikes the view of myth as simple allegory.
Rest of my plans for the night: LOTRO, studying, hopefully some discrete math and/or more Tale of Genjii. In a random note, it annoys me that blogger does not let people underline things because I cannot underline book titles. Maybe Serenity? But I won't last much past 10:00pm, which is probably a good thing. I also need to change my fish's water.
Plans f
I did get two new chairs for my patio! And I had a wonderful spring break, overall.
This almost looks as though I'm writing in that annoying form that makes a paragraph from every sentence. Anyways, I scheduled and looked things up and scheduled some more for about an hour and a half after reading the Simarillion.
It's interesting that Tolkein specifically states that he does not like Arthurian legend because of its intermingling with Christian myth. He also writes in so many words that he dislikes the view of myth as simple allegory.
Rest of my plans for the night: LOTRO, studying, hopefully some discrete math and/or more Tale of Genjii. In a random note, it annoys me that blogger does not let people underline things because I cannot underline book titles. Maybe Serenity? But I won't last much past 10:00pm, which is probably a good thing. I also need to change my fish's water.
Plans f
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Reading About the Delicacy and Subtlety of Japanese Art
I wonder what possible meanings we miss with the standardizations of script in books. Of course, western society does not usually insinuate meanings inside characters themselves.
This is a very thought-provoking and enlightening subject.
The depth of my ignorance in some matters persuades me against traveling too much before imbibing more culture here at home, since the subtleties of life must to some extent be reflected in the viewer before her or she notices them.
This is a very thought-provoking and enlightening subject.
The depth of my ignorance in some matters persuades me against traveling too much before imbibing more culture here at home, since the subtleties of life must to some extent be reflected in the viewer before her or she notices them.
Monday, March 23, 2009
It is hard to walk away from someone else's ignorance, but harder still to admit your own. I feel my ignorance every day, pressing in with the excitement and dread of undiscovered territory.
Perhaps if I lived in different times I could express this in more flowery prose, but the times have turned against me.
Perhaps if I lived in different times I could express this in more flowery prose, but the times have turned against me.
Random
Rereading LOTR reminds me of my imaginings of a society where technology and nature were intertwined, and trees bioengineered so that their branches interlaced to create dwellings with beautiful stones set in their natural bark, electricity derived from the organism while the waste of the household fed it. Mass production, as with all things, has its wise and not so wise uses.
It's interesting to me to note the differences the Protestant work ethic has created in our culture. On one hand, it puts the dreariness of any work for money over self improvement and betterment, in a way, though it could be argued that this is capitalism's work more than anything else. On the other, it fuels the drive for independence.
In my visits and dealings with European culture, it seems to me as if anti-intellectualism never gained the foothold there that it has here, most likely due to the history of the culture.
I had some beautiful dreams and awful nightmares last night. If my memory is correct, some took place in a dreamscape which has never been used before.
It's interesting to me to note the differences the Protestant work ethic has created in our culture. On one hand, it puts the dreariness of any work for money over self improvement and betterment, in a way, though it could be argued that this is capitalism's work more than anything else. On the other, it fuels the drive for independence.
In my visits and dealings with European culture, it seems to me as if anti-intellectualism never gained the foothold there that it has here, most likely due to the history of the culture.
I had some beautiful dreams and awful nightmares last night. If my memory is correct, some took place in a dreamscape which has never been used before.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Thoughts from the Train
Sometimes I wonder whether art and religion are strange bloopers from humanity’s need to generalize. When I pass the sandstone cliffs I sometimes find myself almost seeing faces in them, seeing how beautiful they are and perhaps putting in a carve there, a carve there. I wonder why it took so long for the shapes we find so beautiful in nature to become accepted as art.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
This isn't actually by Christopher Walken, but...
http://twitter.com/cwalken
This post meant mostly for Chris.
This post meant mostly for Chris.
Tale of Genjii: As suspected
Ahha! Here we have it: the jealous, eager to please, pliable woman is more desirable than the talented, sensuous, aggressive woman with multiple callers. Her unfaithfulness is named as her largest fault, but the man who states this was seeing the jealous woman at the same time as her! The scholarly woman who has not absorbed feminine traits is named as the worst of all, and the woman who is quicker than her partner as a witch.
One wonders if this is Shikabu's opinion or what she has gleaned from court life. "Yes, it is an uncertain world, especially for women. They are like bits of driftwood." I hear the echo of the frustrations of early feminists.
I'm not usually about feminist criticism, but this book about a man written by a woman in an old patriarchal society which right now is focusing on affairs between men and women practically invites it.
Other observations about the book: its descriptions of scenery are extremely beautiful, and it is interesting to hear one of the characters talk about "none of this Japanese nonsense" in reference to writing. Apparently the transition to a native language was still underway at the time this was written.
Oh, and the women on Painted Babies should have their children taken away. No lie.
One wonders if this is Shikabu's opinion or what she has gleaned from court life. "Yes, it is an uncertain world, especially for women. They are like bits of driftwood." I hear the echo of the frustrations of early feminists.
I'm not usually about feminist criticism, but this book about a man written by a woman in an old patriarchal society which right now is focusing on affairs between men and women practically invites it.
Other observations about the book: its descriptions of scenery are extremely beautiful, and it is interesting to hear one of the characters talk about "none of this Japanese nonsense" in reference to writing. Apparently the transition to a native language was still underway at the time this was written.
Oh, and the women on Painted Babies should have their children taken away. No lie.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Endangered Species and Hobbyists
Posting that picture of a Wombat reminded me of an idea I had.
In the pet trade, especially the fish and reptile trade, owners are sometimes in charge of animals which have become endangered within their native range. Sometimes these fish or reptiles are wild-caught; sometimes they are secure fixtures in the hobby who's natural habitat is in severe danger. I would love to see a group of hobbyists, laymen, who were doing their part to help preserve these species through a concerted effort to breed and observe them.
Now, there are a couple obvious roadblocks to this:
1.) No pedigree and unknown genetic makeup of many of these animals.
2.) Breeding programs enforce strict guidelines almost impossible to effectively enforce in a
group of laymen.
3.) A non-standardized environment means that almost none of these animals could realistically
be re-released into the wild.
Of course, you could have to sign a contract to join the organization promising to follow certain guidelines. And these animals could be the basis of a later breeding effort by professionals focusing on re-population and genetic strengthening.
I don't have the details worked out, but I would love to see something like this happen.
In the pet trade, especially the fish and reptile trade, owners are sometimes in charge of animals which have become endangered within their native range. Sometimes these fish or reptiles are wild-caught; sometimes they are secure fixtures in the hobby who's natural habitat is in severe danger. I would love to see a group of hobbyists, laymen, who were doing their part to help preserve these species through a concerted effort to breed and observe them.
Now, there are a couple obvious roadblocks to this:
1.) No pedigree and unknown genetic makeup of many of these animals.
2.) Breeding programs enforce strict guidelines almost impossible to effectively enforce in a
group of laymen.
3.) A non-standardized environment means that almost none of these animals could realistically
be re-released into the wild.
Of course, you could have to sign a contract to join the organization promising to follow certain guidelines. And these animals could be the basis of a later breeding effort by professionals focusing on re-population and genetic strengthening.
I don't have the details worked out, but I would love to see something like this happen.
As predicted, The Guild is very funny. The series stars Felicia Day, the actress who played Penny in Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. So far I have watched all of season one and recommend the show, as it is very quotable. Youtube hosts the first season and streams much faster than their site.
I am glad that nobody on LOTRO remotely reminds me of the people on The Guild. Speaking of LOTRO, I haven't played for the past couple of days.
I am glad that nobody on LOTRO remotely reminds me of the people on The Guild. Speaking of LOTRO, I haven't played for the past couple of days.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Domestic Violence
I just have to rant here.
Why do all of these people blame the victim?
Abuse is not a simple process. Usually before an abuser physically assaults his or her partner it is preceded by slowly demolishing the partner's self esteem and isolating them from all support networks. By the time the actual violence happens many victims even feel as though they deserve it. It can take an abuse victim six or seven tries to before they leave their partner permanently. This is a complex psychological subject that has entangled thousands of people, and to call Rihanna stupid because she did not leave Chris Brown or to say that "she deserves him" is blaming the victim, an attitude which makes it even harder to break the circle of violence and reinforces the self esteem and isolation issues that have been created around the the victim.
To say that she deserves his violent reaction she got because she hit him first? Yes, in a loving relationship anything more than playful violence is not acceptable, but choking, punching, and biting are not in the same category as one swat. If one partner does something unacceptable that is no reason for the other partner to escalate in, especially since he was hardly defending himself.
If they were not romantically involved, would we find this situation ok? Girls are very capable of being violent, but that does not mean that women(or men!) do not need protection from this sort of thing. He beat her into a pulp and she barely swatted him. Unjustified much?
Nobody in a healthy relationship has to be afraid of their partner in any way.
Why do all of these people blame the victim?
Abuse is not a simple process. Usually before an abuser physically assaults his or her partner it is preceded by slowly demolishing the partner's self esteem and isolating them from all support networks. By the time the actual violence happens many victims even feel as though they deserve it. It can take an abuse victim six or seven tries to before they leave their partner permanently. This is a complex psychological subject that has entangled thousands of people, and to call Rihanna stupid because she did not leave Chris Brown or to say that "she deserves him" is blaming the victim, an attitude which makes it even harder to break the circle of violence and reinforces the self esteem and isolation issues that have been created around the the victim.
To say that she deserves his violent reaction she got because she hit him first? Yes, in a loving relationship anything more than playful violence is not acceptable, but choking, punching, and biting are not in the same category as one swat. If one partner does something unacceptable that is no reason for the other partner to escalate in, especially since he was hardly defending himself.
If they were not romantically involved, would we find this situation ok? Girls are very capable of being violent, but that does not mean that women(or men!) do not need protection from this sort of thing. He beat her into a pulp and she barely swatted him. Unjustified much?
Nobody in a healthy relationship has to be afraid of their partner in any way.
History of Myspace
For future reference, my snark is usually not about criticizing a person, just their work. Also, "You suck at Photoshop" is good.
Today, the real history of myspace
More
Condensed:
Today, the real history of myspace
More
Condensed:
What News Corp. doesn't want you to know about MySpace
1. MySpace is NOT a viral success. MySpace was advertised on mass levels to reach the public. MySpace was created by a company named eUniverse (who later changed their name to Intermix Media). eUniverse was a marketing and entertainment company who had over 50 million e-mail addresses in their databases, as well as over 18 million monthly web users. eUniverse leveraged their resources to proliferate and advertise MySpace.com. eUniverse went as far as telling 3 million users of their paid dating website, CupidJunction.com, to sign up for free MySpace accounts. (CupidJunction message screenshot)
2. MySpace.com is Spam 2.0. MySpace has spawned an incredibly successful twist on the age-old art of self-promotion, allowing—even encouraging—the marketing of everything from bands to businesses on their site. Essentially, they've opened up a channel through which to solicit and promote everyone and everything, most importantly the individual. The whole site is, in essence, a marketing tool that everyone who registers has access to. Users constantly receive spam-like messages from said bands, business, and individuals looking to add more "friends" (and therefore more potential fans, consumers, or witnesses) to their online identity. A testament to this strange new social paradigm is the phrase "Thanks for the Add," a nicety offered when one MySpace user adds another as a friend. Best yet, to use the site, members must log in, causing them to inadvertently view advertisements, and then read their messages on a page with even more advertisements. In the world of MySpace, Spam is earth, air, fire, and water.
3. Tom Anderson did NOT create MySpace. Most users don't know that Tom Anderson (pictured) is more of a PR scheme than anything else—the mascot designed to give a friendlier feel to a site created by a marketing company known for viral entertainment websites, pop-up advertising, spam, spyware, and adware. As MySpace's popularity grew, the MySpace team moved to create a false PR story that would best reflect the ideals and tastes of its growing demographic. They wanted to prevent the revelation that a Spam 1.0 company had launched the site, and created the impression that Tom Anderson created the site, and the lie worked. According to Anderson, the bulk of his initial contribution is as follows: "I am as anti-social as they come, and I've already got 20 people to sign up."
4. MySpace's CEO Chris DeWolfe is connected to a past of spam and shady business associates and brought those connections to eUniverse/MySpace (see full edition for details).
5. MySpace was a direct assault on Friendster.com. The major key players in the ultimate development of MySpace have Friendster accounts, and name Friendster and its founder in their original business proposal. The current CEO of MySpace, Chris DeWolfe has been a member of Friendster since June of 2003 (MySpace was not conceived until August of 2003).
Monday, March 16, 2009
So I recently discovered a site called Gawker which I now read sporadically for the snarky comments. Though it is a news source I prefer to get the stories directly from the routers, so it's mostly a source of entertainment.
Anyway, Gawker has a love-hate relationship with an internet personality named Julia Allison who is one of those people famous for doing absolutely nothing. As far as I know, at one point she was a sex columnist who is now trying to eek out a living as Carrie Bradshaw 2.0 while crashing a variety of parties. Gawker repeatedly reports on her, though why they do, as some commentators have pointed out, if they truly believe she is an irrelevant personality, is questionable. However, the posts on her seem to get a lot of hits, so she is probably simply entertainment fodder for them.
I was wondering what all the fuss was about, so as part of relaxation time I decided to visit her page and company, Nonsociety. Here are some of the gems I found:
"Nonsociety and Axe: Join forces to solve the hair crisis!"
"The Internet audience doesn’t demand high quality for original online content. It just needs to be entertaining. So why are people pouring six figures into online series (Dr. Horrible by Joss Whedon) when you can spend less than half that and be just as popular?"
"Advertisers and sponsors have to come onboard to fuel your fire. But with their head in the traditional tv/print campaign model, how do we convince them the Internet is where the cool kids hang out."
"I’ll admit to not enjoying Will Ferrell movies, but I don’t find these web shows funny…at all. Am I missing something? Did the botox eat up part of my brain? Any and all explanation would be helpful. Thanks.
Anyway, Gawker has a love-hate relationship with an internet personality named Julia Allison who is one of those people famous for doing absolutely nothing. As far as I know, at one point she was a sex columnist who is now trying to eek out a living as Carrie Bradshaw 2.0 while crashing a variety of parties. Gawker repeatedly reports on her, though why they do, as some commentators have pointed out, if they truly believe she is an irrelevant personality, is questionable. However, the posts on her seem to get a lot of hits, so she is probably simply entertainment fodder for them.
I was wondering what all the fuss was about, so as part of relaxation time I decided to visit her page and company, Nonsociety. Here are some of the gems I found:
"Nonsociety and Axe: Join forces to solve the hair crisis!"
"The Internet audience doesn’t demand high quality for original online content. It just needs to be entertaining. So why are people pouring six figures into online series (Dr. Horrible by Joss Whedon) when you can spend less than half that and be just as popular?"
"Advertisers and sponsors have to come onboard to fuel your fire. But with their head in the traditional tv/print campaign model, how do we convince them the Internet is where the cool kids hang out."
"I’ll admit to not enjoying Will Ferrell movies, but I don’t find these web shows funny…at all. Am I missing something? Did the botox eat up part of my brain? Any and all explanation would be helpful. Thanks.
The five web shows are:
Childrens’ Hospital
Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
The Guild
Onion News Network
You Suck at Photoshop"
(incidentally, this last one is quoted from Mary, not Julia)
This isn't even including the live webcast, which, in Julia's case, seems to be full of lip dubs . Meghan is the only one with anything remotely interesting to say IMO, and actually linked to something interesting: Jasmax
WTF?!
Austria's Fritzl denies murder, admits rape and incest
I love how his lawyer's argument that he is not a monster is that "he occasionally took the children from below ground".
It's amazing how much I like writing and blogging, which I had forgotten. I have created many posts in the past couple days, but I do feel as if I have a lot to talk about. At the moment, I feel no desire to really publicize this blog, however. Maybe later, in which case I will make use of the "friends only" option. On my old blog I constantly felt the need to censor myself because of the amount and variety of people potentially reading it, and it felt disingenuous to pick and choose between friends. Naturally, of course, if a privacy option is not selected, this is on the internet, but I don't feel uncomfortable with any of the content I've written. Double negative!
I love how his lawyer's argument that he is not a monster is that "he occasionally took the children from below ground".
It's amazing how much I like writing and blogging, which I had forgotten. I have created many posts in the past couple days, but I do feel as if I have a lot to talk about. At the moment, I feel no desire to really publicize this blog, however. Maybe later, in which case I will make use of the "friends only" option. On my old blog I constantly felt the need to censor myself because of the amount and variety of people potentially reading it, and it felt disingenuous to pick and choose between friends. Naturally, of course, if a privacy option is not selected, this is on the internet, but I don't feel uncomfortable with any of the content I've written. Double negative!
Something I Don't Get
People who are perfectly tolerant of other's religions, but then go on a rant about how certain things reasonable inside of a normal human psyche and conception are immoral when they see others doing them.
So, it is not ok for people to practice these things, such as living together, because you don't believe in it solely due to your religion, but you claim to be tolerant?
An eternal question: If you truly believe that your way is the only way to heaven, can you be tolerant, ultimately?
I don't know, never feeling this way myself, and I certainly am not going to judge all devoutly religious people who believe this in my uncertainty. It's just something I wonder about sometimes.
So, it is not ok for people to practice these things, such as living together, because you don't believe in it solely due to your religion, but you claim to be tolerant?
An eternal question: If you truly believe that your way is the only way to heaven, can you be tolerant, ultimately?
I don't know, never feeling this way myself, and I certainly am not going to judge all devoutly religious people who believe this in my uncertainty. It's just something I wonder about sometimes.
Last Night's Dream
I vaguely remember a part where I was with high school band in some location. Things kept breaking that the school didn't have the money to fix, including, at one point, a very expensive video camera due to a wave in the ocean. Repairs for it would "cost a couple hundred" (that wasn't the full cost of the camera). Mr. Kenion, one of my high school band teachers, and Mrs. Craig were there. Mrs. Craig asked me what I had done to my hair, and I told her "nothing, just used a new type of shampoo" and then that I was fine, and getting better, though I got the impression she wasn't really listening. Everything was in brown overtones, and run down.
Next I remember being at Canterbury, still with the band, although it was also implied that I was going to school there. Twice I got so caught up in day dreams that I missed what was right in front of/behind me; the second time this was that a bunch of buildings were on fire with firemen rushing to combat the flames. It was implied throughout the dream that the global economic and political situation was getting worse and that there were fires everywhere. Next I remember a gathering at a clearing by the lunch area, which did not resemble the real life lunch area in Canterbury, and I wanted to know if we could go home since everything was on fire because I wanted to skip school. I can't remember if it was before or after that I slipped into another daydream and everything was bombed by a country who's name I think was Cambria. It was truly horrible in the dream, and I can't imagine it in real life. Everything was on fire, people were running and screaming, I had no idea what had happened to anyone else or my appartment or pets. The global fan had been hit, and there was no telling what was going to happen or if and when the nukes were going to come. I think this happened before the assembly because I was wondering if China was going to side with Cumbria.
We scattered, though I don't remember why, and I ran into the building to the south trying to get out of the school. The building resembled dreamscape from a previous dream about North Hollywood. Another nation, an Asian one, had then sent archers to the west coast and they were now in the school. I remember a brief scene with Alex Jacobson in front of a column of people saying "Archers? In this day and age? Why don't they send bombs or something?" Watching them take down all the people around me I didn't wonder why, as everyone was completely defenseless. The actual reason this country sent archers was that it was poor, in the dream. Another part of the dream had revealed that America's military force was stretched very thin and was too untrained and inexperienced, I remember.
At some point I "woke up" into another dream in "my" bed, though this room did not resemble my apartment. Everything was mauve and it was implied I was in a house in a fancy area. I, still convinced that Cambria was invading, rushed outside with a gun and a kitchen knife, to meet Jackie Chan, who was in his 20s, and a girl in a coach. They both stopped. The dream gets sort of fuzzy from here, though I remember there was a lot of dream after this. I think Jackie Chan was a womanizer and I turned him down, and David Litvak, who I knew in middle school, also liked me but I also turned him down. There was a logic game which Jessica Lee beat David at(David was a nerd) and some sort of new ride involving a tunnel.
Dreams are crazy.
Next I remember being at Canterbury, still with the band, although it was also implied that I was going to school there. Twice I got so caught up in day dreams that I missed what was right in front of/behind me; the second time this was that a bunch of buildings were on fire with firemen rushing to combat the flames. It was implied throughout the dream that the global economic and political situation was getting worse and that there were fires everywhere. Next I remember a gathering at a clearing by the lunch area, which did not resemble the real life lunch area in Canterbury, and I wanted to know if we could go home since everything was on fire because I wanted to skip school. I can't remember if it was before or after that I slipped into another daydream and everything was bombed by a country who's name I think was Cambria. It was truly horrible in the dream, and I can't imagine it in real life. Everything was on fire, people were running and screaming, I had no idea what had happened to anyone else or my appartment or pets. The global fan had been hit, and there was no telling what was going to happen or if and when the nukes were going to come. I think this happened before the assembly because I was wondering if China was going to side with Cumbria.
We scattered, though I don't remember why, and I ran into the building to the south trying to get out of the school. The building resembled dreamscape from a previous dream about North Hollywood. Another nation, an Asian one, had then sent archers to the west coast and they were now in the school. I remember a brief scene with Alex Jacobson in front of a column of people saying "Archers? In this day and age? Why don't they send bombs or something?" Watching them take down all the people around me I didn't wonder why, as everyone was completely defenseless. The actual reason this country sent archers was that it was poor, in the dream. Another part of the dream had revealed that America's military force was stretched very thin and was too untrained and inexperienced, I remember.
At some point I "woke up" into another dream in "my" bed, though this room did not resemble my apartment. Everything was mauve and it was implied I was in a house in a fancy area. I, still convinced that Cambria was invading, rushed outside with a gun and a kitchen knife, to meet Jackie Chan, who was in his 20s, and a girl in a coach. They both stopped. The dream gets sort of fuzzy from here, though I remember there was a lot of dream after this. I think Jackie Chan was a womanizer and I turned him down, and David Litvak, who I knew in middle school, also liked me but I also turned him down. There was a logic game which Jessica Lee beat David at(David was a nerd) and some sort of new ride involving a tunnel.
Dreams are crazy.
he
I am in pain and having some trouble sleeping. So I want to rewrite an idea I had a little while ago.
I would, as a reaction to shows such as "Gossip Girl", love to see a film taking the life story of the Buddha and setting it in the modern day, because I feel as if it would not only provide a chance for a unique adaptation but also help to cram some of his message down people's throats.
(Honestly, I personally would be more interested in creating a film about Buddha set in the correct historical time period because of the the beauty of the land and architecture that could be filmed and because I would be interested in researching the aesthetic groups he was involved in before his enlightenment. This film would probably be grittier, though it certainly could be beautiful.)
But anyways, this made me think at the time I had the idea, "Would people be fine with a Caucasian actor in NY playing Gautama Buddha?"
I didn't and don't think so. My reasoning is that I don't think people would be able to accept a white Buddha anymore than an Indian Jesus Christ or a black Confucius. My personal feeling on the matter is that such stories transcend race and time, but the possessiveness cultures feel about their central figures is not to be taken lightly. Of course, Jesus and Buddha have both already taken on alternate iconography in the cultures their religions/philosophy has spread to. Will new iconographies, even in a nonreligious sense, be accepted or tolerated in the world today on a mainstream level? The truth of the matter is that they spring up all the time in microcultures, but could they also tolerate exposure outside of them? This is a different topic, of course.
A culture generally has a large part of its identity based on these iconic figures. I somehow get the impression that the general audience would consider it "theft" of one of their central stories. Of course, adaptations have generally never destabilized the original culture or figure, but the artistic choice by a single person may be looked down upon for this reason(which I don't agree with). I also get the impression, in the case of India, that there are still hard feelings over England taking over the country, which would worsen this feeling of theft.
Part of the problem I have with this notion of theft is that it equates culture with race. If you are representing these figure's symbolic life story, they are just serving as that-symbols which everyone should be able to share a part of, no matter where they originated.
This is a long question and topic, and I feel as if I finally am going to be able to sleep. I may return to this tomorrow, or some other time, for some mental exercise.
I would, as a reaction to shows such as "Gossip Girl", love to see a film taking the life story of the Buddha and setting it in the modern day, because I feel as if it would not only provide a chance for a unique adaptation but also help to cram some of his message down people's throats.
(Honestly, I personally would be more interested in creating a film about Buddha set in the correct historical time period because of the the beauty of the land and architecture that could be filmed and because I would be interested in researching the aesthetic groups he was involved in before his enlightenment. This film would probably be grittier, though it certainly could be beautiful.)
But anyways, this made me think at the time I had the idea, "Would people be fine with a Caucasian actor in NY playing Gautama Buddha?"
I didn't and don't think so. My reasoning is that I don't think people would be able to accept a white Buddha anymore than an Indian Jesus Christ or a black Confucius. My personal feeling on the matter is that such stories transcend race and time, but the possessiveness cultures feel about their central figures is not to be taken lightly. Of course, Jesus and Buddha have both already taken on alternate iconography in the cultures their religions/philosophy has spread to. Will new iconographies, even in a nonreligious sense, be accepted or tolerated in the world today on a mainstream level? The truth of the matter is that they spring up all the time in microcultures, but could they also tolerate exposure outside of them? This is a different topic, of course.
A culture generally has a large part of its identity based on these iconic figures. I somehow get the impression that the general audience would consider it "theft" of one of their central stories. Of course, adaptations have generally never destabilized the original culture or figure, but the artistic choice by a single person may be looked down upon for this reason(which I don't agree with). I also get the impression, in the case of India, that there are still hard feelings over England taking over the country, which would worsen this feeling of theft.
Part of the problem I have with this notion of theft is that it equates culture with race. If you are representing these figure's symbolic life story, they are just serving as that-symbols which everyone should be able to share a part of, no matter where they originated.
This is a long question and topic, and I feel as if I finally am going to be able to sleep. I may return to this tomorrow, or some other time, for some mental exercise.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
More thoughts on the Tale of Genjii
The chapter I am on deals with Genjii as an "adult", at a few years older than twelve. Genjii is now running around with women and breaking the occasional heart. He sometimes visits his wife.
This chapter is written as a conversation between three men, one of whom is Genjii, on the qualities of a perfect and desirable woman and wife. It's interesting to try and interpret this, as it was of course written by a woman. How much of this is information gleaned from court, cattiness, or personal opinion? It states in the introduction that Shikibu herself was not by birth of the higher court, and she indeed states that it is more desirable to court a pretty and talented girl of middle rank than one who's upbringing has gone wrong in the higher rank. The chapter is a long list and story of types of women in black and white terms, such as the naive ones, the household busibody, and those obsessed with etiquette(long story short-all not that great).
At times I could almost feel as though I was picking up on her personal frustration about certain practices of women and their families, especially when she talks about women having a few good qualities that are played up and leaked to the world, and their character never matching up to the story created around them.
Women are not portrayed as opressed, mearly sheltered, and have access to the arts. In fact, one of the most looked-for qualities is a talented woman, at least according to Shikibu, though she, or rather one of the men, says that ultimatley steadfastdness of personality is more desirable than talent. Women are taught to write, though whether or not they memorize the classics such as upper-class men is not clear. It is also unclear how accepted they are in the fields of painting and caligraphy. So far, however, women are not portayed as having relationships with more than one man. It may be implied in a couple of places that some of the ones around Genjii's age do.
So, yes. It is incredible to interact with these characters from the first book in the twenty-first century, to understand them and the beauty surrounding them, to appreciate how novels have evolved over time, to analyse and critique it, and occasionally observe my own modern enculturation about men and women color the text. It is a gratifying read, though a slow one.
This chapter is written as a conversation between three men, one of whom is Genjii, on the qualities of a perfect and desirable woman and wife. It's interesting to try and interpret this, as it was of course written by a woman. How much of this is information gleaned from court, cattiness, or personal opinion? It states in the introduction that Shikibu herself was not by birth of the higher court, and she indeed states that it is more desirable to court a pretty and talented girl of middle rank than one who's upbringing has gone wrong in the higher rank. The chapter is a long list and story of types of women in black and white terms, such as the naive ones, the household busibody, and those obsessed with etiquette(long story short-all not that great).
At times I could almost feel as though I was picking up on her personal frustration about certain practices of women and their families, especially when she talks about women having a few good qualities that are played up and leaked to the world, and their character never matching up to the story created around them.
Women are not portrayed as opressed, mearly sheltered, and have access to the arts. In fact, one of the most looked-for qualities is a talented woman, at least according to Shikibu, though she, or rather one of the men, says that ultimatley steadfastdness of personality is more desirable than talent. Women are taught to write, though whether or not they memorize the classics such as upper-class men is not clear. It is also unclear how accepted they are in the fields of painting and caligraphy. So far, however, women are not portayed as having relationships with more than one man. It may be implied in a couple of places that some of the ones around Genjii's age do.
So, yes. It is incredible to interact with these characters from the first book in the twenty-first century, to understand them and the beauty surrounding them, to appreciate how novels have evolved over time, to analyse and critique it, and occasionally observe my own modern enculturation about men and women color the text. It is a gratifying read, though a slow one.
Thoughts from my Walk
I think that people who are depressed should have the title of adulthood revoked from them for a little while. I feel like I'm fighting reverting back to a childlike state sometimes, except I was more responsible than this as a child. Thankfully there are people here to help me and help bail me out of my messes.
My biggest problem is in my head, and that is the most frustrating part about this. Great, it's in my head, I have control of it! That makes it all the worse that I don't. I've taken and keep taking all the steps I can to control it, don't get me wrong. But today it took me an hour to get out of bed and get a bowl of cereal. An hour! And this isn't unusual.
At least I feel as if I have more mental energy today, which is good, because the majority of it is devoted to studying. When I woke up my head felt raw, in a good way, as if it was trying to switch channels.
I think I would feel a lot happier if I could garden. If I could just create a whole bunch of minature beauties. Drawing them is not the same, as it creates a picture that you have absolute control over that's static by definition.
I hate posts like this when I look back. I think the world is not kind to weakness, and it sort of feels as if it might eat me alive later for showing some in a public place. But, I do like blogging, the one form of diary-keeping I have been successful with keeping up with.
Edit: I was flipping through a book yesterday about depression in which the author describes the paralysis of one girl to the point of not being able to arrange figures in a box. He described it as scary, but I identified 100%. He then went on to describe times when tasks are not below a person's skill level, but the person fails to do them anyway because of the depression.
I am feeling better right now, but I've felt *better* at other times. I can't wait until this rollercoaster ride is fully complete.
My biggest problem is in my head, and that is the most frustrating part about this. Great, it's in my head, I have control of it! That makes it all the worse that I don't. I've taken and keep taking all the steps I can to control it, don't get me wrong. But today it took me an hour to get out of bed and get a bowl of cereal. An hour! And this isn't unusual.
At least I feel as if I have more mental energy today, which is good, because the majority of it is devoted to studying. When I woke up my head felt raw, in a good way, as if it was trying to switch channels.
I think I would feel a lot happier if I could garden. If I could just create a whole bunch of minature beauties. Drawing them is not the same, as it creates a picture that you have absolute control over that's static by definition.
I hate posts like this when I look back. I think the world is not kind to weakness, and it sort of feels as if it might eat me alive later for showing some in a public place. But, I do like blogging, the one form of diary-keeping I have been successful with keeping up with.
Edit: I was flipping through a book yesterday about depression in which the author describes the paralysis of one girl to the point of not being able to arrange figures in a box. He described it as scary, but I identified 100%. He then went on to describe times when tasks are not below a person's skill level, but the person fails to do them anyway because of the depression.
I am feeling better right now, but I've felt *better* at other times. I can't wait until this rollercoaster ride is fully complete.
Symbols?
So reading the Tale of Genjii got me thinking about how people used to (at least in story) communicate with each other through poetry and picture. As someone who loves the deeper-than-words communication that can be conveyed through these, I feel as though, in part, I miss the days when this was much more commonplace. Of course, part of the reason that we could never communicate this way in the modern day is that for many cultures, symbols had sort of a standard meaning. Now due to the mixing of cultures and experiences, things such as fall and autumn have many different meanings to many different people. I personally think that ultimately this can lead to deeper and richer symbolic communication, though it has also contributed to its disuse and to miscommunication in logical and *normal* communication due to the symbolic nature of language itself.
This also lead me to think about how in the Golden Dawn part of the requirements of the material is to absorb the symbolic aspect and then manipulate the symbols through ritual.
Part of the reason I feel compelled to write this down is how strange the idea of an almost-standardized symbology is to me. Due to human nature fully standardizing symbols is, of course, impossible, but it is just striking when a concept that was extremely commonplace for a long time is completely alien. I guess this is also true of racism, but that I just chalk up to mass ignorance and try not to think about.
This also lead me to think about how in the Golden Dawn part of the requirements of the material is to absorb the symbolic aspect and then manipulate the symbols through ritual.
Part of the reason I feel compelled to write this down is how strange the idea of an almost-standardized symbology is to me. Due to human nature fully standardizing symbols is, of course, impossible, but it is just striking when a concept that was extremely commonplace for a long time is completely alien. I guess this is also true of racism, but that I just chalk up to mass ignorance and try not to think about.
It's really early or late
So Dylan introduced me to a site entitled "One Hundred Videos You Should Have Seen", and it has led to a whole bunch of time-wasting-before-finals. Today I am going into hardcore study mode, so I am not that nervous about taking a little extra time. I've enjoyed watching extra videos of Chad Vader since everything is funnier when acted out by an someone in a Vader suit. There are plenty of others that are worth seeing, and some that I will never get minutes of my life back from.
I also played a bunch of LOTRO yesterday. It was fun, especially since many guildies are just as into nerdy jokes as I am. I wish I could remember some of our exchanges to post them here, but suffice it to say that they involve astronomy, quantum physics, and various random talking about sharks, amoung other things. Crafting takes much too long, also.
My parents visited today, which was fun. We went to TGI Fridays, bought my books for the new semester and some groceries. We then all took a long nap. I am very excited about potential patio furniture because of my liking for basking in the sun.
So, yes. Lazy day.
I also played a bunch of LOTRO yesterday. It was fun, especially since many guildies are just as into nerdy jokes as I am. I wish I could remember some of our exchanges to post them here, but suffice it to say that they involve astronomy, quantum physics, and various random talking about sharks, amoung other things. Crafting takes much too long, also.
My parents visited today, which was fun. We went to TGI Fridays, bought my books for the new semester and some groceries. We then all took a long nap. I am very excited about potential patio furniture because of my liking for basking in the sun.
So, yes. Lazy day.
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