Satire

I picked up a book today from the shelf by Ambrose Bierce called "Civil War Stories". Ever the biting satirist, this was where he chose to set his latest stories.

I finished half of the(very short) first story and set the book down. I felt uncomfortable. I couldn't take his distortion of the Union to fit his point, though I couldn't see what that was yet. I started to think and wonder if another war would affect me the same way.

The Union was made up of people who were flawed and, in some cases, just as bigoted as the Confederates. But the soldiers were still heroes who ended slavery and gave or risked their lives in the process.

I tried to think of other wars since the Civil War and blanked for a second. American education concerning history is very Anglocentric. But what wars would be the background for satire? The Ugandan genocide? Only the ones in which we had simply stretched out our hand like superpowers and taken what wasn't ours.

Laughing at Myself

I like the morality in kid's books. The humor, the decisions, and the personalities can all be tiring, but all the books I was fond of as a child preached tolerance, preserving life when able, and creativity. No personal agendas are pushed, like Tolstoy's love of Christianity-the man can write a novel, an exploration of human nature, in every sense of the word, but why did he have to end that one with propaganda? I love adult books, but it's nice having solid ground, so to speak, where these tend to be full of shades of gray. To, also, at least pretend that people can be taken by their better emotions.

I started re-reading this book called "Enchantress from the Stars". It's a kid's book, but it isn't. It reminds me of something I would write in my spare time as fun. It deals with a highly-advanced race posing as enchantresses and magicians on a world in the equivalent of the middle ages when an imperial, newly-interplanetary race starts to take their planet over in the name of their empire.

So many personal universes, so little time. I love reading the great books because of their nature and depth, but exploring someone's raw creative output can be fun, too.

Ptbbbbbbth

Whenever I see something incredibly strange and perhaps scarring, I get this urge to share it with my friends. "Hey, this hurt my soul, maybe you should check it out!" Don't worry, I never do this without warning people first.

Watermelon juice that tastes like squeezed watermelon is at Trader Joe's. Go get some, because it is delicious.

Americans produce so many anti-dystopic themed stories but we are sort of living in a dystopia in which we are the fat cats. Of course, we are now sort of paying the price and taking everyone down with us, but think about how corporations affect labor laws to keep their bottom line down. The problem is that those who don't generally don't swim.

Here is an interesting structure called "The Bat Spiral". I like this article for these two lines:
"I'm led to wonder, however, what non-human future might await something like Aranda\Lasch's 10 Mile Spiral if it were to be constructed – and later abandoned – amidst an ecosystem for bats...
We are inadvertently building the future infrastructure of an animal world."

One of the gifts I was planning on making Chris was a terrarium with abandoned architecture, so he could watch the plants slowly grow over and break it down. I'm planning on making one for myself in that magical time known as the future.

Here is a reason why they like physicists and computer scientists in Wall Street.

Also, though I talked about how much I dislike Twilight in the last post, I would like to point out the irony of calling Edward gay-ish: the main fans of the series are women.

Today saw me trying to dissect Mario, figure out optimization strategies, and then ask myself what exactly am I doing. Things are more fun when you're good at them, but this no longer feels fun. I'm doing it wrong.

Reading Into it All

Thanks for the link Anonymous, I finished reading the story today.
As someone who has read Flatland I am hoping he got to copyright first, which he probably did.

I am a sworn enemy of the Twilight series. Everything I have read about it reinforces my resolution not to read it, especially Edward's line "You're like my own personal brand of heroin". What girl actually wants to hear that? Well, apparently many, many teenagers these days, but still. It doesn't help that my usual reaction to romance scenes is to skip them unless I'm reading a classic or it's a very good book. And here is my problem with most fantasy novels:

1.) Guy meets girl, guy and girl fall for each other. Cool.
2.) Guy and girl go through tribulations together, keep love to themselves. This is realistic.
3.)Guy and girl confess love and then get married/spend eternity together shortly thereafter. Wait, what? No?

First love sells, which is just a matter of fact. But these novels include only the honeymoon phase and none of the ecstasy or pain that comes with real love or spending a significant amount of time together. A partner is a person whom you know for years and will still be a surprise sometimes and totally predictable in others. These saccharine, unrealistic portrayals are not doing anybody any favors, ultimately. Why would you want a love like that if you could have the real thing?
Also, as far as I understand Bella follows Edward to the exclusion of everybody else and then gets pregnant right after high school. What a great example. Also, talk about communication issues between Bella and Edward. As far as I understand, in the second book he leaves without telling her why.
I know that people are going "it's a book for teenagers, you shouldn't expect better". And there are plenty of examples of other books where the characters meet, fall in love, and get married soon thereafter. It's usually their saving grace that this is not the central pillar of the plot which excuses this.
Ok, so people in my generation were reading Harry Potter in middle school, and I would love to say that nobody took them too seriously, but it's Harry Potter. I have read all of those books, and while they are entertaining and do use actual mythology/characters from history in them(eg Nicholas Flamel) they are entertainment and nothing more. I do not get why so many other just as good or better books did not gain the popularity of this trilogy. Maybe it was a changing climate in regards to fantasy, or the series was simply extremely accessible to people, or a bit of both. Either way, LOTR was then produced, which I approve of. Then there was Wicked. I never finished the book, but it is dark and graphic and I'm willing to bet most people don't actually read it. I've heard some of the songs from the musical and read the Wikipedia entry on the play. The songs are very simple musically and tap into generalized emotions. "I'm not that girl" is something most, if not all of us, have felt in the past before and probably associate with deep emotions, but it's not exactly brilliant writing. The whole the popular girl and the outcast can get along! and the popular girl has problems and can feel like an outcast too is good. Of course, I believe most of us learn this immediately after high school if not before then.

Today's speed run: 12 minutes to the end of 6-3(got killed by the world boss).

One of the differences between photographs and paintings, at least, to me, is that, in a painting the subjects are beautiful shells waiting to be filled with meaning, but a photograph is of someone extant, a person who's shoes we may attempt to step in but can never replace. In fact, completely replacing the person in a photograph dehumanizes the model in a way, because they become simply tools, vehicles for ourselves. Of course, many fashion photographers attempt to take the image of a model and make it their own in the way painters made model's images a work of art. One could argue that the ending photograph is as far removed from the model as a painting, but this is not intuitively extant to me. Perhaps because when looking at a painting, the first "person" considered is the painter, but when looking at a photograph, it is the model. Or perhaps it's my perception of models then and now.

After reading this article on horrible, horrible US companies that again throw the phrase "first world problems" into harsh reality, I had a heart attack when Nesquick was #1 on the list. Child slave labor, some of it from human trafficking, harvests the cocoa in their drinks. I love chocolate milk and consume vast quantities of it. I am never buying Nesquick again. The Kirkland milk I buy is organic, certified by the American Humane Society and obviously sold by the awesome Costco, but where does the cocoa in it originate? Here is a site called "Rountable for a sustainable cocoa economy". Declaration of Trinidad and Tobago?! This hits much too close to home. But I can't find out where the cocoa is from. Most likely a middleman.

Reporting from the Internet

The NY Times has a column asking whether or not Madoff got more than he deserved. I didn't get through it, but f*** no. Yes, he is a symbol, but he also did a ton of damage and showed a complete lack of ethics on a plethoric scale. One could get into the ethics of jail itself here, but that's irrelevant to the case at hand

Today my parents visited, which was mostly fun.

I also visited a park.

I don't really feel like writing down thoughts today. I'm in a good mood, just not in the mood to write.

I kind of agree with this article.
"To me, it seems social networking takes too much time with too little reward. Time to learn how to use. Time to sit and read. Time to think and interact.

All of this adds up to less time in “real” life."

"The trick is finding an equilibrium between social networking and living. Spending hours text-gossiping about someone’s page seems a little over-the-top. But using social networking sites to connect or reconnect with people to set up real face-to-face get-togethers seems really useful."

Except that I still mock my parents for taking so long to use the internet(Sorry parents, I still love you!). There are ways to use the internet to enhance life, and there are ways to let it take it over.


The Wall Street Journal has an interesting article on "Ten Ways Banks Take Your Money".

"Late fees, loan-origination fees, over-the-limit and overdraft charges helped generate 53% of banking-industry income in 2008, according to R.K. Hammer... The average bounced-check fee is $28.95, up about $1 from last year, says Greg McBride, senior analyst at Bankrate.com. And it's a charge that rises every year.

At $19 billion, credit-card penalties for late payments and over-limit charges were up 80% between 2003 and 2008."

The new credit card reforms make me happy. In the mean time, there is apparently a study by Bankrate.com which states that the best card currently available is from USAA Federal Savings. I've never heard of this site before. If you feel like picking through the study/site, let me know what you find.

Also, if you have or will have student loans you must read this article.

Summer reading list for children that adults may wish to check out.

Like Steampunk? Click to be tortured. Who wants to petition an awesome out-of-work artist to do something like this? Via Boing Boing.

More Cracked articles you should read:
9 Devastating Insults from Around the World
7 Innocent Gestures that Can Get You Killed Overseas
7(Stupid) People Who Sued the Scientific Method
6 Great US Presidents and Their Crimes Against Humanity.

One of the problems with the internet is that there is too much good stuff to keep track of in it. I am not a culture blogger; being a university student with a lot to learn and a voracious appetite for books makes it hard to keep up with all of those who deserve recognition. Not that I am sorry about being a university student with a large appetite for books.

I have to admit that I really like good journalism and entertaining, informative writing to accompany my news stories. I've tried to be an aggregate of raw facts and I simply don't have the time to be one. I'm not quite sure I'm pleased with the situation. Bear with me while I figure it out.

It's incredibly hard for me to look at difficult news stories, which is ironic due to the fact that I have chided others for not doing so. It's just that I have gone through so much pain from my medical disorders and I come from a well-to-do family. What about those people who hurt every day and can't get medical care? What about those people who can barely get water because they've been uprooted from their homes? What the hell must they be feeling, thinking? I've tasted but a drop from the pool that is despair. Maybe I'm weak, but I can't imagine what it's like to wade or swim in it.

I don't think all people from third-world countries are broken or something similar. It's simply the barriers needed to leave that poverty. My intelligence as a peasant girl in India would not have mattered if I had married at nine and had my first child at twelve(though I most likely would have become as close to a monk as I could have been). Wanting to read, write, or learn is simply not enough in that climate.

In other thoughts, our culture has so many dichotomies, one of which being that the religious majority of this country encourages abstinence before marriage, yet culturally male promiscuity is encouraged. It reminds me of a quote from Joseph Campbell's Creative Mythology:

"In Christian Europe, already in the 12th century, beliefs no longer universally held were universally enforced. The result was a dissociation of professed belief from actual existence and the consequent spiritual disaster, which, in the imagery of the Grail legend, is symbolized in the Waste Land theme: a landscape of spiritual death, a world waiting, waiting-"Waiting for Godot!"-for the desired Knight, who would restore its integrity to life and let stream again from infinite depths the lost, forgotten living waters..."

Not only must we actualize ourselves but charge forth in battle against those who would suck us dry.
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I started the review of the Trader Joe's cloths today. I used one to clean my oven top and was impressed. It did the work of about 10 paper towels due to various cleaners I implemented to test it. Soap with water, which will destroy several paper towels in one go, was easily dispensed then mopped up. The cloth proved to be durable and porous, and rinsed out very easily. I would definitely recommend this over paper towels while cleaning so far(or if you have fish tanks).
So far I have used the other cloth as a dinner napkin. It requires a little wetting to create the consistency needed to pick grease off the fingers.
I will keep you updated. Note that since a two-pack costs $2.99 this could actually save money as well as breaking down easily in compost piles and reducing paper consumption.

There is a character called Dr Strange who I wish to check out. Also, Ellen Roger's Flickr(Via Warren Ellis) is so, so good. The picture is credited to her. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but sometimes I don't understand what it is trying to say. These pictures do not invite you into their worlds but simply taunt you with their beauty, daring you to ponder while shutting the door.

I think I need The Encyclopedia of Fantastic Victoriana.

Filming

"Art does not speak...it is overheard..."
-Foucault

Thoughts about "The Reader":
1.) It reminds me very much of the starkness of German culture that Anthony elaborated to me, though the film reveals the passion and humanity underneath it.
2.) Kate Winslet is an excellent actress. Her eyes, her gestures, her manner are all perfect for her role. I am not surprised she won the Oscar.
3.) I wish people still went on cycling holidays. Though, of course, I don't know how to ride a bike..

There is joy in being loved, but there is also so much joy in loving someone else and seeing it light up their life.

4.)It's interesting how the Nazis have no effect on Micheal's life in the upper class.

5) It's powerful, incredibly powerful. Not as powerful as Slumdog, but it deserved to win some awards. I won't go into the details because that would entail spoilers, but you should watch it.

It's strange that Dora may soon be totally blonde.

You know what play is excellent? The Cherry Orchard by Chekov. I just read one of his (very) short stories, so I am thinking about his work.

I really wish that "Milk" didn't have wife-beater Sean Penn as its main actor because now I'm torn between borrowing it from someone or Blockbuster. The same holds for "The Wrestler".

Thoughts on Frost/Nixon:
1.) It was AMAZING. And I don't know how to say any more than that without spoilers. But seriously, go watch it.

I did a lot of stuff today, but little of it was physics related, which annoys me.

Storytime

I wonder if carbon nanotubes could be used in conjunction with another highly resilient material to create wings that could function while making minute adjustments like those a bird's wings utilize.

I was raised to consider serving people as a part of the environment, like the racks that belong in a department store. Perhaps describing them as serving robots would be more descriptive. In my universe, they existed only to do their job with a smile as part of the background. This was not an overt part of my upbringing, and I don't want to give the impression that my parents are horrible people.

When I was fourteen, I took my first community college class and my world changed. I met the people who served in these tiring, backbreaking jobs, struggling to smile and be polite to their customers who could be horribly and unrealistically demanding. I realized how abhorrent and narrow-minded my previous view had been. I admire people who work sales and service jobs, grueling, demanding, and intellectually deadening as this work is. And while I most likely will never, thank God, have to work in one of them, I try to make sales people's day a little easier if I can.

It really bothers me when people treat sales people with the naive attitude I possessed earlier in my life. I've known plenty of people working their way through college trying to balance school and work at the same time, and the last thing they need is someone snobby enough not to appreciate this. Almost nobody wants to be in these positions, but they work in them because they have to provide for themselves and sometimes their children. Why would this make them any less human?
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Every time I walk to the video store I remember a story from my childhood. When I was twelve and in seventh grade, my science teacher Mrs. Simons(sp?) assigned us a project to cook a nutritionally balanced meal. I procrastinated until the last day and then informed my mom when she came home that I had to get the ingredients necessicary. Uncharacteristically, as my parents usually would go to great lengths to help me succeed in school, my mom said that she was too tired to deal with this and that she was going to take a nap; when she got up she would decide what she was going to do.

This was not satisfactory to me. So I stole twenty dollars from her purse and set out to buy a Cornish hen.

The distance to Food for Less, which is in the same complex as the video store, was far from the longest distance I had walked at that time. But small and paranoid as I was looking like an out-of-place elementary schooler, the store seemed much further than it actually was. When I got to the store a nice sales person took special care to help me get exactly what I needed, and I went home with a feeling of satisfaction. And yes, I did give my mom the change from the bill.

My mom was angry but strangely proud and told the story to all of her sisters. This reminds me of when the Orange Line was built and I started sneaking off to downtown. After a bit of astonishment and upset, my mom wanted to know if I would take her with me.

Winnetka is now a street which I feel completely safe strolling down, although for some reason somebody always honks at me. I still don't feel comfortable in the dark out there, as the last time I was somebody grabbed my hand. But still, how times have changed.

Tonight we're watching "Run Fatboy, Run". We went on a huge shopping spree thanks to mom, though we also stopped in at the one dollar bookstore. We bought some plays by Moliere(accents are too much trouble) , Neuromancer, a book of short stories including Faulkner and Chekov, To Peking and Beyond by Salisbury(experiment) and a couple other books. I also bought Micheal Crighton's book Twister for Chris, because I couldn't help myself.

Contradictions

My family and I just finished watching "Doubt". The film's cinematography is gorgeous and made me feel as though we were looking at a moving painting. The editing and camera angles used were also well thought out. The story itself is great, portraying a battle between the stern, unchanging church and the "new" church. The actual answer to the question is left extremely ambiguous. Though I thought the movie was very well done, it was not as good as "Slumdog Millionaire".

As I said before, I'm not generally a fan of writing reviews.

Today I lazed around a lot and then had to go shopping with my mom in Kohl's and Ross. I couldn't finagle my way out of the trip as I had promised her I would go. Things went alright, and I got a new top and dress. I wish there were online discounts as good as the ones in Ross so that I never had to go into that store again. Also, considering all the time that the fashion industry spends marketing to thin women it would make sense to actually create clothing for them, but it can be very difficult to find any.

We spent about half an hour searching for a good handbag for me but got bored and gave up. Who knew that purses were this complicated? In Kohl's I found the perfect one, but it was made of genuine leather and I couldn't simply put my principles aside for a tote. Considering how long we spent searching and the fact that it was originally $115(Half off only today with extra 30% coupon on top), it was sort of a low blow.

My mom also wanted to buy me new shoes, but due to my aversion for heels that turned out to be a failure. In my opinion, heels are the new footbinding.

I spent a lot of time looking at Gaiylee and the kittens, who are becoming braver and bolder by the day. We have named the one my mom secretly wants to keep Dasha. There is the brave one, who is the least afraid of us and the biggest in the litter, the clingy one who is constantly attached to Gaiylee, and Socks who is adorable because between his socks, the little stripe of white on his face, and his huge ears he somehow becomes really cute. The last grey and white kitten has not don anything distinguishing him or herself from the rest of the kittens. How do you describe kittens pouncing, prancing, catching each other and their tails, climbing up the chairs on the patio and voraciously eating while their mother watches intently, only to fall asleep on the lawn? Words don't do justice to the show in our backyard.

I have some ideas bouncing around in my head right now, but I don't particularly feel like writing them down at the moment.

WhenI come home I sometimes re-read my children's and teenager books. They are extremely quick to go through and contain piles of nostalgia. Many generic writers targeting adults try extremely hard and fail while peppering their books with the content that places them in the adult category. The teenage novels are so refreshingly innocent. Anyways, nostalgia and reminding me of things I learned when I first read through the book, some concepts being entirely new at the time, are why I do this. It feels sort of silly to do this as a huge snob, but we read for many different reasons, eh?

I hope you all are having a great night. PS, Sorry about that Alex....

Wired Up

Today I went to a really interesting, fun place.

Was it Disneyland?
Was it Huntington Gardens?

It was THE DENTIST! I have to have my wisdom teeth pulled out at the end of the summer.

Watching kittens play in the sun while creating a thousand Hallmark moments is extremely relaxing.

I know that I should be calling my friends and telling them that I'm back in town, but I'm honestly having fun vegetating and feel too tired to set anything up. I will have another month to catch up with everyone, so I hope I can be forgiven.

One aspect of why I love working with living things is that there is no predicting exactly how the finished product will look or grow to be. The materials used in a project can be restricted within a certain aesthetic range, but the finished product will never be the exact replica of a mental picture. This is part of what I find so addictive about designing aquariums: even with a previous plan in mind the outcome is unknown.

Apparently, part of the book dedicated to Orpheus survives. I will attempt to find it online.*
*sentence serves as a reminder to me

I am extremely glad for the existence of 911.

Today I bought "Slumdog Millionaire" for my mom and rented "Doubt", which we will probably watch tomorrow. "Volver" was an interestingly portrayed window into the life of the lower class in Spain.

So I made a vow on this blog to re-start following "real" news over the summer quarter. The first news aggregate I'm going to catch up on is Wired. Right now I'm reading its culture section; let's see how long this takes. This article on 5 Toys from the 80's(It..has tons of global significance!) reminds me of all the playthings I wanted but could never have. This was a valuable lesson in consumerism and materialism, as I was perfectly fine without these products in the long run. Still, learning a programming language or playing with electronics is something that I would have loved to do as a kid, though I did learn BASIC as a child and it is BASICally useless. If you love Legoes, you probably want to click on the article and read about Erector sets. PS: maybe I'm still five, but that's a horrible name choice.

Also, this article on Googleconomics is really interesting. It's far too long for me to post all the relevant quotes in it, but it references some interesting ideas, a man who started doing formal mathematics when he was thirteen, and a highly successful business concept. The problem is that this makes me not want to read news and instead go off and do lots of math and physics.

If we were introduced to the concepts earlier I'm sure that most of us could have been doing formal mathematics by the time we were thirteen. So don't get too caught up in that.

This was posted a while ago, but anyone want to share their thoughts on the article entitled The New Socialism? I only started it, but while the premise is something that's been discussed since middle school I have a feeling that the article still sparked a lot of debate. For some reason this reminds me of high school when (world)news posted the day before was considered old happenings. Maybe it's because I was thinking of Jane when I wrote the first sentence in this paragraph.

Also, wetpaint may come in handy.

Sexy

"He lured her downstairs into the Crypts; she led him from altar to altar in the Church of St Nikolai."
-From The Call of the Toad by Gunther Grass

I want to save this quote because I feel that it has high metaphorical value. Did you know that the name Pomeranian originally applied to a group of Slavic tribes?

What are your thoughts on this condom packaging? It's from China, which is why there is no Mao on there. I honestly find it to be twisted but humorous. Please don't think that I find the millions of people these men killed and oppressed to be funny; rather, it honestly feels good to see them ridiculed. Besides George Bush, humor at their expense would most likely have been the ultimate insult for many of them. They wanted people to fear them even after they died. So I think that while remembering and learning from these dictators's regimes (again sans Bush) is of the utmost importance, let's laugh at their images and tear down the legacies they wanted to create.

The Call of the Toad is a good book. I generally don't like to write down full reviews or thoughts about novels I read, and I won't be in this case.

I want that dress really badly.

Deep

So here in sunny San Diego, I live in a studio.

Today I visited the pool to blow of some oh-God-finals steam. After nearly drowning myself a few times, I went to thaw out in the hot tub with another woman from my complex.

We started talking and she asked me how to go about finding a roommate. She then mentioned she lives in a two bedroom apartment, which was the original arrangement I was supposed to have been in with a roomate. I went to visit the place, which seemed nice enough even though it was no personal studio, and she gave me some cookies. She was a very nice, warm, and relaxed woman.

Bad Marisa really likes my studio, but Good Marisa really likes the notion of her parents retiring in style. So I phoned up my parents to tell them what I had discovered. To which my dad replied that he didn't really care about the money as much as me doing the best that I could. They may still meet the woman, who's name is Beatrice, when they visit here this Saturday. But yeah, don't I have awesome parents? That's basically why I'm telling this story.

Apparently, some people are fighting to keep non-Jewish people off the Brooklyn memorial. Because the lesson we learned from WWII is that discrimination is a good thing. I'm just going to run in the opposite direction from the madness now.

Going back to seriously reading the real news is one of my summer plans.

One of my licorice gouramis died today. This made me sad.

Here is a quote I am thinking about at the moment(I read this a long time ago, but have the book here):

"In order to make simple the great truths of Nature and the abstract principles of natural law, the vital forces of the universe were personified, becoming the gods and goddesses of the ancient mythologies. While the ignorant multitudes brought their offerings to the altars of Priapus and Pan...the wise recognized in these marble statues only symbolic concretions of great abstract truths."
-From The Secret Teachings of All Ages by Manly P. Hall

The reasons I wanted to discuss this here are twofold. The first is, of course, the intellectual beauty inherent in the statement, which is not captured here in full. Actually, I could go on all day in regards to this subject, so let's leave this here as less of a discussion and more of an observation.

However, the second reason I want to discuss this quote is less complementary. Chris and I used to have discussions about secret societies, and he stated vehemently that he would never join one. This quote, I think, personifies why, and a lot that is wrong with those that extol this sort of knowledge. Though, of course, going further along this vein, once could state that believing to know the truth is the root of most elitism. The rest of humanity cannot possibly comprehend, which is why they disbelieve.
I do think there are certain beneficial symbolic factors to keeping some things a secret. Though, Isreali Regardie published the teachings of The Golden Dawn, and how many people in the modern day still recognize the teachings of one of the more influential secret societies? No matter what the knowledge or wisdom, it is generally sought or catches attention to be truly absorbed. In this day and age, being published and available does not keep something from being a secret.
Anyways, I think that the mainstream would benefit from the acceptance that this branch of knowledge/wisdom/something actually is very relevant and not simply hokey-pokey nonsense(thanks Protestant and Industrial revolution!) and that humans in general are just a littttttle bit smarter than elitist snobs think.

Early Afternoon Tea

I feel very good right now. A weight has been lifted from my shoulders and my mind is responding in accord. I'm not out of the woods, not yet, but the progress is extremely encouraging.

I've been thinking about literary theory. The subject is based on the material that came before it and is always changing. It is like science in a way, because careful study and experimentation must be done to determine the basics, although rules are much harder to determine because of the vast generative power of the mind. Different minds also do not follow the same rules and the same mind can follow different sets of rule, or at least that's how I like to think of it. The thought of an overriding generative algorithm scares me, so I admit I have a bias. Thank god for Godel's theorem. I prefer to think of the mind in some ways as a fractal. I wonder what work has been done along that line? I believe I will look it up.

I just found a baby stick bug on my ceiling. I'm going to go and contemplate the implications of that.

Working out is Tiring

Apparently L'oreal is installing a generator at their factory that will allow them to run the plant on methane gas from cow poop. This is an awesome idea, and I may switch shampoos because of it.

My physical therapist is very nice. We chatted and she recommended a steep hike called "The three sisters" which is about six miles from here.

I spent most of this afternoon reading things I have to read while relaxing in the sun. I really like the things I have to read. The Morphology of the Folktale is very interesting, though it is hard to make large judgments on something commenting on the overall structure of the fairy tale when I've never done a significant analysis myself. After all my reading in this area I feel as though I should be more qualified, but I'm not. Perhaps when the author applies his analysis to specific folktales I may have something interesting to say, but for now the best insight I can offer is how interesting it would be to twist this structure to fit a story with the feeling but not the reality of magic, such as someone from the far past discovering alien technology. I am sure that someone has done this before. Also, the author's methodology is refreshing, as he emphasizes over and over that the theory should conform to the material and not the other way around. I wish he didn't use Greek letters for functions since every time I see theta it's either polar or imaginary coordinates and neither pleases me.

There is a Muay Thai class at UCSD which it's too late for me to enroll in, but I really want to.

On Gawker there is an article where Madoff's secretary talks about how he was irresistible to women. A Gawker commentor pointed out that "For the rest of his life he's certainly going to be irresistible to men."

Edit:

The White House OSTP wants your opinion

Wednesday, May 6, 2009 7:21 PM

From:

"Shawn Otto - ScienceDebate.Org team"

Dear Marisa: Barack Obama pledged to Science Debate that he would "restore the science integrity of government and restore transparency of decision-making..." He has referred to this pledge several times since, most recently in his speech to the National Academies of Science. On March 9, the president formally asked the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy (OSTP) to make recommendations on how the executive branch can meet this pledge. The OSTP has opened a public comment period regarding this directive, giving you the opportunity to share your thoughts on what the next steps should be. Comments are due by Wednesday, May 13. The OSTP is looking for recommendations on the six issues President Obama identified in his memo: hiring and keeping qualified scientists defining new policies to ensure integrity using "well-established scientific processes" like peer review disclosing scientific findings ensuring that principles of scientific integrity are being adhered to adopting additional policies like whistleblower protections The OSTP is accepting comments via email and through their blog, here. Their original request for input can be found here (pdf).

Exhbits, Readings, and TV

This picture is strange, but I like it. It's from the Mark Moore gallery and painted by artist Julie Heffernan, but unfortunately the photographs of the pictures are too small to appreciate any real detail in them. I would actually love to visit the gallery on May 23rd, hint hint.


My mind refuses to settle down, jumping from one project to the next. It's searching for something to involve it totally and completely in the way it wants, to provide it with what it needs, responsibility be damned. It wants to learn seven new things literally at once.

I also watched the new episode of "Castle". The difference between "Castle" and the other shows I am watching is that I actively look forward to it. I would say that I even like it better than "Bones", which has regained its standing as one of my favorite shows, even though the two are very different. Of course, "Castle" parodies "Bones" in some ways. Yesterday when I was incapacitated I finished catching up on all of the new "Bones"; that's a lot of TV. "The Double Dearly Departed" had me laughing throughout almost the entire episode and was probably my favorite of all of the new ones.

Anyways, later on I no doubt will come back to talk about some of the things I have learned today. For those who live in or by Los Angeles, LACMA currently has an exhibit about Pompeii's art and culture on display. Perhaps that's something I could see on, say, the 24th, provided it's convenient. Also, apparently there is a Lebowski fest taking place on May 7th?

I'm reading and to some extent accidentally destroying a book called The Morphology of the Folktale by Propp, an analysis of forty-two Russian folktales in an attempt to scientifically study fairy tale structure. Propp was very influenced by the anthropologist Levi-Strauss, which is why at one point I requested that book back. The problem is that the study is so mathematical it makes me feel like studying pure math, so I've been jumping between it and Linear Algebra. I also got this strange urge to read the Tale of Genjii at one point.

Cleaning and German Tales

I remember reading the plot of the Nibelungenlied as a child. It was one of my least favorite stories because of how horribly depressing it was, which made such an impression on me that I may never read it as an adult. The ending is the wife of Siegfried locking all of the warriors who betrayed her husband in a hall and poisoning them.

Today I read some of The Ring of the Nibelung, studied quantum physics, did a lot of housework while watching "Bones", and exercised. Ammonia with surfactants is an excellent cleaner. My mom bought me some ammonia ($0.99 for about a gallon)when I was attempting to do a fishless cycle(Aquaria Central's server wasn't responding when I wrote this) which, unfortunately, well, contained surfactants. I decided to use it as a normal person might and was pleasantly surprised. Needless to say, however, my windows are open and I took two showers today.
I also use the "Greenworks" all-natural line from Clorox for extra irony, although if they came out with something that effectively cleaned floors I would use it instead. Their bathroom and glass cleaner work very well and their all-purpose cleaner works fine, although not as effectively as some other brands. What? I do live alone and do all my own cleaning, which also probably makes the layer of dust in the previous picture with Monkey self-explanatory. If you want to have an awkward conversation about the relative effectiveness of household cleaners, feel free to bring it up. I must also say that the microfiber cloth my mom bought me is the most effective duster I have used, including Pledge, and the most environmentally friendly.
If you are a man and are laughing at this point, let me tell you that one of the most unattractive things to many woman is a guy who won't do his share of the housework. I only clean up after myself because I have to and if somebody put me in charge of his or her mess in addition to my own I would turn into an axe murder overnight. Thankfully, I am with someone with whom that will never be an issue.
Significant others should never have to act as parents.

A good idea for a science fiction short story would be a love story between a human and an alien, emphasizing perception shaping the role of both in shaping the other into someone they are obviously not.

Later Edit: This entry sounds much more angry than I meant it to be. I was trying to be funny, not defensive. Btw, another scenario for my becoming an axe murder is working with people like those in "The Scientist and the Physicist".

Good Morning

Is there such a thing as a pointless memory? I don't think so; my belief is that every experience lends something to be learned from, as long as we don't overgeneralize from it. Then again, I am only nineteen, but I have a sneaking suspicion I won't be proven wrong.

Today I was attempting to deal with some of my worst memories, prepared to accept that they were simple exercises in pain that one must let go and forget. Then I realized that those experiences helped to make me damn strong. If I can survive and grow from them I can survive and grow from many, many things. And that is a wonderful way to start the day.

One of the reasons I often read and rarely write is that part of the joy of tales for me is the mystery of their every aspect before I start and complete them. It is interesting to write a story not knowing where it may lead, but far more difficult. Part of what I enjoy about writing in general is that I sometimes sit down to scribe what I know and a conclusion will magically form from the previous elements. Take, for example, the shallow issue of clothing and American culture.

Clothing has, throughout human history, helped to form an indicator about a person, whether it be rank or affiliation. In the modern day, subcultures are no exception, and there are instant subconscious impressions which can be formed by looking at how a person dresses. Of course, in the modern day, a lot more influences a person's dress than cultural affiliation, such as time, comfort, and aesthetic appeal. Lastly, it is impossible and not worth the time to indicate all the things which compose a person in dress. There is a paradox here, where some people dress specifically to be associated with a culture and others simply dress for convenience. It seems the wisest thing to do is not to form opinions based on clothing, but ironically, some people may even be offended if their cultural affiliation is ignored. Perhaps the only thing possible is to tread lightly and give the benefit of the doubt. Stereotyping people based on the way they are dressed is at times no better than stereotyping people because of their race.

Writing organized the structure of my thoughts and helped me to articulate them in a manner much more effective than speech, even if this was a shallow topic.

I also love drawing because when I start, I rarely know what or who I will end up with. Today I drew a character I named Angelica Bonnet. Her wispy hair, long face, neck, and fine features would be beautiful if she didn't live in a society which appreciated the bold and straight line. Angelica has tried to live in this society and conform to it all her life; only a small inkling in the back of her mind wonders if she has been following the wrong path, an inkling she rarely pays attention to. She has fit into her society successfully, but she is not beautiful now.

I planned none of that.

Yes, many great works have come from pre-planned scenes and points, and occasionally I feel the need to create one of these myself. But I feel right now as though the greatest story I ever write will be a road which I will wander and discover new things while exploring.

Note for early readers: I condensed the last two blog entries for brevity. I don't pre-plan posts and sometimes the organizational structure that results from sporadic posting is not the best.

Musings and Roly-polys

"You are what you think. You are what you do."
-The Dhammapada

I think that people forget the first part of this quote too often in our society. To me, it's very important, and symbolizes something I strive for.

I helped my dad garden today. I caught a blue pill bug and was going to keep it but it expended so much effort getting out of the container I put it in that I let it go. I love pill bugs, in part because I believe they are the only crustaceans to live on land. There is something so cool about them and it's great that they are so common. One day I want an ant farm for pill bugs.
Dirt is good for the body, good for the soul. I sang "Sunshowers" in the shower after being covered in it. Feeding stray cats is good for their kittens. Roses are fractalian shapes that are present in a wide variety of natural objects. Maybe the soul is a fractal, an overarching pattern present in chaos. I should study more now.

Pleasure Reading

"..For hunger is death..."
-Brihad-Aranyaka Upanishad

What an interesting statement. I can imagine an all-consuming nothingness, a hunger reduced to hunger alone. But is this to say that our hunger, our drive, the thing which motivates us to enrich our lives, is in itself a taste of death? I cannot imagine that "hunger" is only being used to describe humanity's longing for food.
It's difficult to put my thoughts on this quote into words.

Pretension

I am having cramps. I know this is probably TMI for all of you, but it sort of interferes with my ability to do work in long blocks of time. Because of this I decided to visit Gawker and browse around the "Douchebag" tag, where I ran into a writer called Chuck Klosterman. After reading a few snarky articles on the man I realized that I have actually read some of his work, part of a book called Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs.

My friends were raving about Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, and Chris, in an act of sweetness, bought it for me after I mentioned to him that I wanted it. I tried to get through it, I really did, if only because it was a gift. But I should have borrowed it from the library before any sort of purchase was made because the writing was so insipid, so easily disprovable, and in parts so utterly immature that I gave up trying to finish it. No offense to anyone who loved or loves this book, of course. Feel free to have long debates with me on how I'm wrong after I'm done with my work.

For those who would ask why I'm blogging if I am busy: it's because it has a certain relaxing value for me. I could just be strange in feeling that way, although the entire reason I decided to start writing again was an article citing blogging as therapeutic. I don't entirely trust studies like this, but it may simply be proof that I am not alone in feeling this way.

I have a fear of coming off as pretentious in this blog. Actually I have a fear of being pretentious in general because I used to be very pretentious when I was younger. I have, however, decided to write as freely as possible here, especially because, let's face it, this blog ultimately is for me. I'm hoping that what I write is not simply pretension, especially because I feel as if poetical prose is sometimes necessary for me to express myself because of the way I think. Ah, yes, the vagueries of self-doubt. Writing here can also sometimes be disconcerting because of the number of "I"s and "me"s used.