My Dream and an Observation on my Life

Last night I dreamt that I was home on vacation and one of the things I wanted to do was watch Star Wars: The Empire Strikes back(I don't in real life, by the way). As happens in dreams sometimes I became a part of the Star Wars universe, except that it wasn't quite the same mythos, since though the ships were the same and there were Jedis the resemblance stopped there. The robots were pretty cool, and at one point I became a Jedi who could create a force field, light things on fire, and do all sorts of things regular Jedis cannot do. Anakin was jealous of my power. We allied with a robot who was on the Empire's side and wanted to help us for some reason I don't remember. I do remember the Empire was trying to poison us, though, and we landed on a planet where a football game was going on and two of the concession stand people got killed and one turned out to be a robot, or something like that. We also had to land in a toy store for a toy robot that was crucial to our plans.

I love my subconscious sometimes. I've actually had dreams that were supposed to be the Star Wars movies before, but I've liked them better than the actual ones.

You know who I've never had to deal with, for the most part? Bitchy, catty people. In the HGM in high school there was sort of a *popular* group, but I got along fine with all of the people in it, and, while everyone was certainly nice enough, it was not the group I wanted to belong to. Once Tedrick called me ugly to my face, but we were also best friends at that point, and I know he doesn't actually think that I am, though I didn't at the time. In band, one guy made fun of the way I dressed and my dandruff since at that point I wore baggy pants and a baggy t-shirt every day and wasn't always good about washing my hair, but I dressed that way exactly because I didn't really care about my appearance that much. In middle school a couple of people made fun of me in sixth grade, but we got along fine later on. One went after the way I dressed and the other I was probably latching on to too hard to since I was the new kid, so I was sort of asking for it. Luckily, nobody made fun of my horrible acne, at least to my face. People may have made fun of me behind my back, I don't know, but I never found out about it.

I mean, if someone had told me I was ugly, which those couple people in high school basically did, I would have said "ok" and walked away. People have different opinions on beauty, you know? And I'm not really concerned about being beautiful for everyone, I'm more concerned about my inner life. I just hope I can somehow dodge the bullet on these bitchy, catty people and never run into or make friends with a single one. I also hope my friends never pretend to agree with me when they actually disagree, on another topic.

So yes. Early morning introspection.