Old Times

I had a weird dream last night where Jasmine(who went to MIT) and Ethan(who went to Princeton), both of whom I haven't spoken to in three or four years, came to work in Dr Kleinfeld's lab along with an influx of other undergraduates. I had to deal with people like my annoying physics lab TA's from last semester constantly shepherding me off. Also, there was a problem with what looked like a double derivative but apparently it wasn't a double derivative in what was apparently take home homework from the lab dealing with differential equations.

Anyways, if that wasn't strange enough for you, Julian came to work in my lab as a graduate. This was not a pleasant shock for me. In the dream I remember commiserating to my parents, of all people, that as a former undergraduate aeronautics engineer major it didn't even make sense that he would come here to work.

In real life, as in the dream, that would be horrifically awkward. The last time I saw Julian was at a 761 bus stop by UCLA. When he spotted me a smug grin lit up his entire face which changed into a "WTF" expression when it became clear I was with Chris. Anyways, that last encounter is the main reason I would never want to be in close proximity for prolonged periods of time with him- that, and the couple of other times we were at the bus stop together when I was Chris-less when the same thing happened. I could forget and forgive everything that happened in the past and interact with him as a polite and courteous human being if he just did not act like an *censored*.

Thinking about Julian made me think about Eugene, who's last name I will not put up here for the sake of his privacy. At first it was Eugene I had a crush on, a nice guy who gave me his sweater to keep at one point. I wonder whatever happened to that sweater? Thinking about it that doesn't seem like something that someone only interested in you as a friend would do, but that's all useless and pointless speculation now. He turned into a good, if not a close, friend whom I had no feelings for whatsoever, in response to your queries. So I went on Facebook to see how he was doing, but he has apparently deleted his page.

In a strange way that probably means he is gone from my life more or less forever. I like the dangling thread that Facebook provides, although I know others feel differently. I've had some great people in my life whom I barely talk to anymore but are still connected to me, albeit very loosely. If I ever wanted to rekindle a friendship with someone all it could take is something as simple as a Facebook message. It's strangely saddening to have take taken away, to know that someone whom you could have shared a strong bond of friendship has passed from your life, and the window of opportunity there is probably permanently closed.

Maybe I could run into him in Tarzana?